Sometimes I just feel like I’m owed. You know what I mean? Like everyone should see just how hard and long I’m working without any complaining (at least no “outward” complaining – but that’s good enough sometimes, right?). I am craving being noticed. Complimented. Praised. Loved. Needed. Seen. Sometimes we just pour out everything we have and if we got the kind of reactions we are working for and think we deserve, it wouldn’t be so hard. But when we don’t, it sucks.
And it sucks even more when we realize that this reveals something about our hearts: That it’s not about Jesus. It’s all about us. Me. Ugh. Smh (it took me FOREVER to figure out what that stood for -“Shaking my head” for those of you who are like me).
The holidays seem to accentuate the ugliness. We decorate, bake, buy, dress, wrap, clean, perform, entertain – we do it all. So much of it is for those we love, absolutely. But how much of it, honestly, is to prove something to ourselves, our families, our parents, our exes, our ______________?
The problem is, when people don’t appreciate all of our hard work, we tend to get resentful and bitter. I mean, not hardcore. But like passive aggressive. Oof. When God graciously lets us have “out of body” experiences and see just how badly we are treating people, we have a choice…We can continue to act like people are our pawns sent here to serve us. Or, we can practice the truth in this verse from Scripture:
“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus…”
Life was NEVER about Jesus. It was NEVER about being noticed or seen. It was ALL about GOD the FATHER and saving me. The me who would try to make life all about her – especially when things aren’t going her way. Ouch.
Jesus, help me. I don’t want to live for myself. I want YOU to live through me. Change my heart. Give me Yours. I want to love and serve others the way You love and serve me. Help me to be in the moment and to enjoy those around me by serving them.