Shifting Focus

by | Oct 19, 2020 | Stories From My Friends | 2 comments

For the last few years I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety. Two years ago, I moved up to Tampa for my dream job in ministry. Due to my actions, I was let go. I eventually found a new church and job and girlfriend and in my mind, thought everything was great. I wasn’t focusing on Jesus and my relationship with God and I stopped going to church, lost my job, and ended up using drugs. I was so low one night, I tried to end my life. The months after that night, I wrestled with my faith and started seeing a therapist. I was constantly thinking about my sins and how messed up I was and got to a point where I was just empty. I felt like a shell, so far from God. Then one day, driving out of no where I feel something tell me to look at the sky. And it was the most beautiful sunset. And it was this overwhelming feeling where what I was seeing was so amazing that I couldn’t focus on my sins anymore. And it was like getting hit with a truck that I realized: The more I focus on how messed up and sinful I am, all I’m doing is falling deeper in depression and helplessness. But when I focus on Jesus, how amazing, loving, and powerful He is, I realize He is big enough to cover my sins. And I was reminded of this and instantly that empty feeling and depression was gone. Regardless of beliefs or where whoever is reading this is at, Jesus died for you and is big enough to carry you out of this season.

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