Guys, I am so tired of being angry. Frustrated. Wound up. On edge.
I feel like we are in a time and space where we can’t even have conversations anymore. We can’t share differing opinions, ways of life, thoughts, decisions, etc. We can’t sit and listen and learn because we feel like we can’t trust anyone. We feel like we have to respond to every post, tweet, and video. We walk around ready to fight.
What happened to us? Ya’ll, we are mentally and emotionally exhausted. We’ve been on edge for over a year. We’ve been living in a constant state of unknown. We’ve used all of our emotional and mental energy just to function so we don’t have much left for conversation. More than that, because we don’t feel safe and because we are doing our best to protect ourselves, families, and loved ones, if we interact with someone who has a different perspective or worldview, we immediately go on the defensive. We feel personally attacked. We struggle focusing on the things we do have in common. We walk away from time with friends and family overanalyzing every conversation and continuing to have imaginary conversations in our heads. This only puts us on edge for the next time we are with the people we care about.
Fam, these are people WE CARE ABOUT.
Bryant and I have been talking about how exhausted and drained we feel – mainly from the emotional toll these past few weeks and months have taken on us. We feel like we are constantly on edge in every conversation – and we are just over it. We’ve decided we are going to make the best decisions we can for our family. It’s not on us to convince anyone to do anything. It’s on us to love people well. That’s it. So that’s what we are going to do. We are going to love people well by avoiding certain conversations or interactions. We are going to love people well by being completely ourselves and creating the space and freedom for others to be completely themselves. We are going to love people well by focusing on those things we have in common and creating safe places for people to feel seen and heard.
I want to challenge you to love people well. If we all started loving people well, maybe, just maybe, we could all take a deep breath and begin to feel safe again. I’m not going to tell you what or how to love people well. That’s on you. Maybe you need to take some time to think through what loving well looks like for you and why you are struggling so much. Why are you so angry? Why are you so scared? Why do you feel like your way is the only way? Why can’t you be approachable, humble and vulnerable?
I’ve been in fight or flight mode for too long. I’m exhausted and it’s just not worth it. I’m going to make the decisions I feel is best for my family. Then I’m going to love well and trust that you are working hard to love well too. Maybe, just maybe, that will be enough.